When does it get better?

This weekend has been less than spectacular. Marty didn’t have a game Saturday so I slept in. I should learn not to do that. It makes me a lazy bum the rest of the day.

I finally got moving about five-ish running errands. We were out of food so I didn’t have a choice. With all the time I missed work the last couple weeks I won’t have money to eat out for a few weeks.

I stayed up late last night, partly because I couldn’t get Marty focused on getting ready for his shot. I didn’t have the mental energy to get firm about it until after 10 pm, by which time I had given up on getting up in time for church today. I finally went to bed around 1:30.

Today was more of the same, almost. I had handbell rehearsal this afternoon. That and running the dishwasher are the only things I have accomplished. I’m really disgusted with myself that I have wasted the whole weekend but I just can’t get started. The house is so bad I feel like it will never be clean again. The less I do the worse the house looks and the more I feel like it will never end and the worse I feel. The worse I feel the harder it is to do even little things to make it better.

Dr F said to give it more time, but I’m tired of feeling this bad. I’m getting better but not fast enough to suit me.


About juvenilearthritis

A single mom raising a son with juvenile arthritis and a daughter with a big heart.
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