Yesterday was a bust. I don’t have to be at work at a certain time, which can be good and bad. I didn’t get up in time to shower so I took the kids to school then came back home. I honestly intended to take a quick shower then go to work. I never made it.

I should know by now that if I’m not ready for work when I take the kids to school that I’m not getting there at a decent time. I should also know that if I don’t take a shower in the evening that I’m not taking one. If my hair is too dirty I wash it in the bathtub and skip the shower. I know, disgusting, but I’m too depressed to care.

Instead of working and earning money like I really needed, I stayed home and ate too much, slept too much, and watched too much baseball. I didn’t tell the kids I was depressed I just said I didn’t feel good.

Staying home let me mope around all day feeling sorry for myself and guilty because I wasn’t earning money. That just made it worse. I had to make sure that didn’t happen today. When Marty said he wasn’t feeling good and didn’t know if he could go to school I almost told him that he had to go. Actually I guilted him into it, telling him I couldn’t afford to take a second day off to take him to the doctor.

I guess the day wasn’t a complete waste, since I did manage to run the dishwasher. I’m determined to do better tomorrow when the kids are with their dad.


About juvenilearthritis

A single mom raising a son with juvenile arthritis and a daughter with a big heart.
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